A Powerful Message of Self Love
There is a guy who has a light that is so bright it reaches across the vastness to the millions who need to see it shine.
I absolutely love this guy. His messages are so empowering and uplifting and if there is anyone out there struggling with self love, the guilt of self love (feeling guilty for wanting to put yourself first) then this message is for you.
First, let me tell you who this guy, Prince Ea is.
No, he is not of the Annunaki–he’s not that old! His real name is Richard Williams and Prince Ea is his stage name. He is a spoken word artist, poet, rapper with a degree in anthropology.
He started out by simply wanting to be one of the best rappers out there. However, he started realizing that he was unhappy.
He was comparing himself to other musicians and he stopped making music. But don’t let that make you think he gave up on his dream. His dream changed. He simply wanted to be happy.
He did something that many people do not do. We are often programmed by society who says never give up on your dreams. But are they your dreams?
Ego says you must never give up on your dreams or you will fail. Then it will flare up and make you compare yourself to others. All in all, many people go through this and are miserable.
Instead of arguing with yourself about your dreams, ask why are they your dreams? Where do they come from? And if your dream is meant to come true, have faith that it will.
“Through literature and introspection I realized that ‘doing‘ will never make me happy, it is only in ‘being‘ where happiness and peace arises.”— Prince Ea
With this in mind, I want to talk about self love and a video of his that really helped me understand myself more.
Why Does It Feel Wrong To Love Yourself?
My mother always told me how beautiful I was and that she would always love me no matter what. I didn’t have a father. I did have a tumultuous childhood due to my mother’s own traumas she was dealing with throughout her life.
We struggled a lot. I was exposed to the cruelty of this world at such a young age because my mother couldn’t afford babysitters while she worked a third shift.
I learned early on that people of the world were sexually, emotionally, mentally sick.
I was often told by relatives that I was a mistake. That I was bad. That my mother would be better off if she didn’t choose to have me.
There were conversations I overheard that even though I was a child and didn’t understand the words, my subconscious understood the vibration and incorporated it into how I should see myself.
My mother was always my advocate. She made sure that if I were bullied in school, I fought back. And I did. Until a teacher in high school decided that bullying was okay. That’s another blog post.
So even though I had a good mother, I often fought those doubts. In fact I never fought. Those doubts crushed me into millions of mental pieces. Poetry, art, writing, music all rose up from the cracks of those pieces and helped me grow into who I am today.
And today, I have the answer for that question: why does it feel wrong to love yourself?
Because doing so is going against the programming that you’ve been receiving from all sides since birth. It means fighting for yourself first.
It means understanding that despite the fact your father didn’t want you, that guy rejected you, your teacher bullied you, another said you would never make it–you are worthy of your own love.
Fighting For Yourself
What does it mean to love yourself? How can you love yourself when you are such a horrible person–you don’t deserve to exist?
Those were often my thoughts during my teenage years. Hidden beneath my smile and drowned in hopes and dreams. Hopes that I would somehow find someone who would show my how to love myself.
I would always go into this dream world and honestly, have suicidal thoughts. But even though those thoughts were so dark there was always a ray of hope hidden.
At the end I would always change my mind and want to live. I would always somehow make it. I would go through so much hell, almost die and somehow, survive.
Counselors would say, “Look into the mirror and say I love you” which was weird as hell. I remember how hard it was to look into my own hazel eyes and gush at how much I loved that person on the other side.
She would know I was lying and hate me even more.
But those counselors were on the right track. What they were trying to get me to do was to reprogram my mind. But it felt like I was lying to myself, so it didn’t work.
You see, your brain is a computer. They always said that in school and it’s true. You can literally change the world by changing your own perception of it.
Instead of looking in the mirror feeling as if you are lying to yourself, change your perception. You are programming yourself. You are showing yourself how to love yourself.
I Love Myself
Today, I can truthfully say that I am beginning to love myself unconditionally. I say beginning because you can’t just love yourself and move on. It’s not turning on a light switch.
It’s a constant battle against the mind numbing programming you’ve been dealing with since birth.
But how can I explain how I love myself? I mean, why is it important? Why do I deserve self love? WHY? What do I gain from loving myself?
Then I saw this video in my feed and for me, it helped me to answer the whys and hows.
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About Johnna Sabri
The Gem Diva
Hi, I am the owner of The Gem Diva’s Rock Shop & Studio and this is my blog. I’ve been wire wrapping over 10 years and my story is unique since I’ve had a Grammy winning musician teach me the craft. Read more in my bio here.